-- race issues --
'Are you Malay?' one of them suddenly asks.
I couldn't help but laugh. One minute there're people asking if I'm from China and the next there're those asking if I'm Malay.
'Because I heard them calling your name,' he quickly added. 'Sounds like a Malay name. I know some Indonesians with the same name.'
So I said my name properly in Chinese. It felt kind of alien, saying my own name in front of an audience at the foot of the Batu Caves limestone cliffs. They all laughed.
'That means he's been saying your name wrongly!' the girl exclaimed. 'I heard him calling you that, so I just followed.'
I ended up explaining my name right down to how the characters are written.
But they still didn't remember it in the end.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
-- taking ears hostage --
Someone was playing the piano, the sound of which I haven't heard in years. The playing was sounding constipated, seeing as he hasn't played in years either.
I went into the room armed with a KitKat. 'I'll give you a chocolate to stop playing,' I said. The girl in the room giggled.
He refused, so I upped the stakes - 'I'll give you two chocolates to stop playing!', while waving the KitKat under his nose invitingly. 'Take it, take it,' I egged.
He demanded an entire bag of chocolates instead, the greedy bugger.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
-- charity for your pleasure --
He was sitting beside me in the backseat of an old Proton with no suspension, cruising KL.
On second thought, that actually wasn't when he popped the question -
'If I donate a million dollars to charity, will you shave your head?'
We were in a teksi, racing towards the KL International Airport. As fast as RM75 will get us from 1Utama, anyway.
As I considered the question, he continued, 'I mean shave it bald, with a razor - in fact, I want to do the shaving. I'll feel bad, but I think I will also derive a lot of pleasure from it.'
Eschewing my standard 'Sure, why not?' (previously often criticised as lacking enthusiasm), I said, 'Yes, I will - is that positive enough for you?'
Ignoring the gibe, he mused, 'This will give me more motivation to make my first million.'
'It's only hair,' I retorted.
I wonder if he thought this up after taking a knock in the old Proton the day before when the bottom of the car hit the tarmac as it rolled over a speed bump. Maybe his head hit the car ceiling.
But I'm looking forward to it too, even if only to remind you that you forgot.
