I've been going around telling people that I stayed with a conservationist in Tioman, so I'll stick with that, although I can't be sure if the term "conservationist" needs to come with special qualifications. Let's just peg that at moving to Tioman from the US 6 years ago, living on a sometimes inaccessible island to build a compound from scratch, all for the sake of protecting turtles.
A nondescript entry on Wikitravel and 8 days of leave to clear conspired to bring me to Tioman. It's funny though, that most still think a "volunteer" gets free board and lodging. I'll admit I was one of them, until I started to look into it more seriously.
When I arrived around mid-afternoon, there were two other people there, besides the conservationist (male). One, a German female, in her 20s. Subsists mainly on cheap cigarettes. Long stayer - will live there till September. The other, Australian female, in her 50s or 60s. Like me, just a temp - 10 days. Loves to chat about herself and her lifetime of substantial travels - Africa, America, Europe, she's done it all. I am bunking with the German.
On the tour of the place, the conservationist remarks that I am funny, because I refused to do any research about turtles prior to arrival, opting instead for "physical labour". He decides to start work on the little pool that his blind turtle is housed in, the day I arrive. The plan is to tile the inside of the pool (outside already tiled when pool was built). So the turtle, measuring perhaps 70cm in diameter, is moved into a giant black plastic tub. Then we try to scrub away the algae that coat the cement walls of the pool. Somewhat futile, but work is work.
In the subsequent days, I am roped into tiling the pool, hammering together the frame of a big picture someone has painted (I proceed to hammer it into the wooden floorboards), digging a giant hole (to house the septic tank for a couple of new chalets being built), chopping up dead trees (subsequently burnt), chopping bamboo at a bamboo grove (even though I knew bamboo groves are mosquito hothouses, I still ended up with over 20 new bites just from that outing) and general cleaning (I actually elect to clean the kitchen floor on my hands and knees).
The bamboo poles are eventually used to build a turtle hatchery, which, with the participation of 5 new volunteers who arrive on day 3, I am able to not really do any work for. Did I mention it was under the beating mid-day sun? Getting a beautiful satay-hued tan is not for me. But hey, they did a great job!
That was on day 6, the day I have 2 sausages for breakfast. The conservationist saw me getting a new packet of them from the fridge. At lunch, he asked me how many sausages I had. Upon examination of the package, he had appeared to conclude that I had 5 sausages. In fact, I had cooked 4 and gave the German girl 2.
Later, of course, I had to ask. 'What's wrong with eating 5 sausages?'
He said, 'It's not economical.' And proceeded into a spiel about the difference between how Americans and Asians eat. 'An Asian would eat rice with 2 ... no, ONE sausage.'
No wonder he'd been looking so keenly into my bowl of instant noodles on previous days. For want of some fibre, I had thrown in some remnants of bean sprouts and cauliflower I found in the fridge. I wonder if he gave the same lecture to the Australian, whom I saw eating two eggs for breakfast (despite claims that she needed to watch her cholesterol). Probably not. No one wants to bully old ladies.
On day 7, I handed in my RM960 volunteer fee. Took no food from the kitchen except 2 slices of bread. Trekked to a nearby waterfall and did no work. Walked to the nearest village (about 20 minutes on foot) to pack dinner.
On day 8, I left, even though I wasn't due back home until day 9. I stayed the extra night in a clean inn in Mersing and treated myself to Kentucky Fried Chicken and Marrybrown. Between bites of fried chicken~ I reckon there must be a line one crosses from being a reasonable human being to becoming a wildlife champion looking for the next donation. The turtle gets squid and fish twice a day, while the humans get random vegetable scraps.
Is it me or does something funny always happen in Tioman? The last time I was there, someone fell off the seabus into the sea - but not before trying for an impossible split between the boat and the jetty. Must be something in the Tioman water (100% potable)~
